How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her. How 2 impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer!!
A girl who opens her hands receives gifts,
who opens her heart receives love,
who opens her legs receives happiness
Girl:It’s too tight
Boy: Don’t worry; I’ll do it slowly,
Gal: Push it in,
Gal: It’s painful,
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!
A Good friend is like a Good bra… hard to find, comfortable, supportive, prevents you from falling, holds you tight and is always close to your heart!
Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls’ bathroom and
touch her anywhere she likes?
He took me from a bar
He took me in his car
He took my top off
He puts his lips on mine, but don’t worry: I’m a bottle of wine!
Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, then I can always look at them.
Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged
During sexual session the girl says:”u r like a mobile phone!”Boy:
“Do I vibrate a lot?” Girl:”No, when u get in 2 d tunnel u loose network
The most difficult golf course in the world is… “Women Hole” any
style you play… as many shots you try… & as much perfection you have… you
can never get your balls in…!!!
Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people)
like NIKE (just do it)
like PEPSI(ask for more)
like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited) and
like ME (TO GOOD TO BE TRUE)..
When SHE cancels a date, it is because..
“SHE HAS TO”
When HE cancels a date, it is because..
“HE HAS TWO” ;)
A woman married a one legged man.
She wrote to her mother:
“My husband only has ONE FOOT”.
“You are lucky,your papa has ONLY 5 INCHES”
A cute Nurse came for the interview..
Dr: What salary YOU expect?
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it’s 25,000